Escapades
by MoonlightPrancing
Summary: The Marauders embark on little adventures every single day. But where does all the adventure tend to lead to? What does being so unpredictable do to Sirius Black and James Potter? One word: Mischief.
1. Escapades Begin

Sirius Black and James Potter had always been able to prove themselves totally unpredictable. Not even the teachers could deny such.

It was almost like they could read one's mind - If you ever thought, even for a moment, that they would always be doing one thing the same way, before long had passed, they would have you eating your own words.

There were very few who could really put up with this trait of theirs. Though almost all of them loved them for it. And then there were ones who had no choice but to put up with it, simply by being in the same classroom.

And, technically, Remus Lupin had to say he was one of those. Never mind the fact he was one of their best friends - he didn't choose to be caught up in any of their little escapades. But he tended to be there, anyways.

But, then, both boys had made themselves perfectly predictable - by being unpredictable. You could always, always count on them to do exactly the opposite of what you expected.

And so it was on Monday morning during breakfast. And it all started with a game of Truth or Dare.

"Okay, Padfoot. Truth or dare?"

"Dare."

"Go and kiss the first girl you see over at the Hufflepuffs."

"Not bloody likely. I already have a girlfriend. I skip. Truth or dare?"

"...Dare."

"_You_ go and kiss the first girl you see over at the Hufflepuffs."

"Nuh - uh. I'm saving all my kisses for Evans."

"Who will not be kissing you anytime soon. Mate, she hates your guts."

"She'll cave eventually. She can't say no forever."

"We'll see about that."

"She'll say yes."

"She won't."

"She will!"

"I doubt it."

The subject in question, Lily Evans, had been listening in on the conversation as usual, and, like usual, she looked away looking even more disgusted then when she'd looked towards them. Remus gave her a sympathetic look. She replied by mouthing "Idiots", and giving a smile.

"Moony, what are you up to?"

James' eyes flicked down to the pile of books Remus had stacked on the table, and he gave a roll of his eyes. "You don't even have Arithmancy today. A typical bookworm, you. A moment without your nose in a textbook is a moment wasted."

"Ha ha," Remus said unenthusiastically. "Are you two almost finished your conversation? We've got ten minutes to get to Potions."

Sirius and James looked at each other. "No," Sirius admitted. "Where were we, again, Prongs?"

"We were arguing about whether Evans will give in or not."

"Ah, right."

And, they resumed the argument exactly where it had left off, slipping in a curse here and there to add some color. Peter Pettigrew began cheering each on in turn, clapping with each swear.

They were so deeply immersed, that they didn't resurface until Remus dragged them out the room five minutes before class. They settled for shooting each other dirty looks across the room during the lesson instead, switching to innocent smiles whenever Professor Slughorn looked their way.

James was busy making twisted faces at Sirius, who was responding equally, when Slughorn decided to pose his next question. "Mr. Potter! What are the properties of moonstone?"

The boy blinked rapidly as he always did when he was asked a question. "The...properties...of…"

"Moonstone," Slughorn repeated, patiently.

It was very obvious that James Potter did not know the properties of moonstone. Pausing only to adjust his glasses so that they tilted slightly, he responded. "Professor, I thank you dearly for thinking of me by asking this very intelligent question. But I am afraid that my physical health prevents me from scientifically molding and shaping an appropriate response."

Professor Slughorn raised an eyebrow. "Is that so?" He seemed to sense that James wasn't being truthful.

Sensing a storm on the horizon, Remus decided to dive in and save James, though he really thought he would prefer to sit and watch everything infold. Heaven knew he needed some entertainment.

After being called on and answering the question, Remus shot James a look that said plainly, "You owe me".

Remus turned his attention back towards the lesson, and tried to take in what Slughorn was saying about the properties of moonstone. Unfortunately, James seemed to have other ideas.

Slughorn caught sight of James' outstretched hand. "Yes, Mr. Potter?"

"Sir, what does 4x4 equal?"

Remus groaned inwardly. It was going to be one of those days...

"Mr. Potter…" Slughorn seemed to be thinking along the same lines as Remus. "That really is not on topic-"

"Is it 16?" James asked sweetly.

"Yes, but-"

"Perfect!" to Remus' surprise, he saw James look down swiftly and scribble something down on a spare piece of parchment under his desk.

Slughorn did not notice the gesture, but plowed on about moonstone.

Peter was eyeing James curiously, not even bothering to pretend to be paying attention to the lesson.

Even Remus tired of listening, as, surprisingly, potions became as monotonous as your average History of Magic lesson. Even he had trouble staying awake for it.

"...Moonstone is especially useful in potions for…"

"...Chapter 5 states that one teaspoon of moonstone…"

"...Open your books to page 456, and read the end of the chapter…"

Remus was the only one to open his book, and at last Professor Slughorn seemed to notice the silence. His eyes searched out the room.

"Mr. Potter, what is that you've got under your desk?"

James turned an eye on him. "Nothing, sir!" he held up what looked like a surprisingly blank sheet of parchment.

"Put that away, my boy...no distractions…"

Later on, Remus was surprised to see, that, on leaving his Arithmancy lesson, that none of his friends were at the lunch table. But then, they were full of surprises.

"Psst!" A soft whisper hissed from under the table. "Moooony!"

Remus jumped and put his head closer to the floor. "What are you doing?"

"Come on under and I'll tell you!"

"Will it cause my untimely demise?"

"No."

"Kay then." Remus ducked down swiftly, placing his fork next to his plate as he did so.

Sirius and Peter shifted to make more room for him. "Well, then?"

James held out the parchment he had had out during Potions. "God, Sirius came up with _such_ a great idea! You know how difficult it is to get around the castle these days. Around every corner you could find Filch and that cat of his."

He paused for effect, and then looked over at Sirius, who continued for him. "So what if we made a map that could tell you where people are? That would make it so much easier to explore the castle without getting caught!"

"And we would do that, how?"

"That would be your job to figure out."

Remus groaned. "So I do all the work?"

"No, you just figure out how to do the work. We'll all work on it!"

"Is this what you were planning in potions?"

"Bingo."

"What was the 4x4 for?"

"Oh, that." James looked rather embarrassed. "Well, I actually got a whole load of math questions from Evans. She said if I could do them all she'd go out with me…"

"You honestly didn't know what 4x4 was?"

"I know, it's basic math and all. But never mind that. Are you in on the map or what?"

Remus twisted his lip. "I don't know if you should be getting yourselves more ways to bend and break the rules."

"You won't? Not even with this face?" James gave him a pleading look with a pout. It looked quite amusing.

"Urgh, give me the parchment and I'll go down to the library."

"Good old Moony!" James yelled, and Peter and Sirius winced and covered their ears painfully. "Knew you wouldn't let us down."

They all jumped as the face of Professor McGonagal appeared suddenly, and glowered on them all. "What on earth are you up to? Get out of there!"

There was a scramble as Peter and Remus crawled out from under the space. However, James and Sirius didn't move.

"...Well?"

"Sorry, Minnie," Sirius said politely, lifting a finger. "But James and I have to stay here for a few months. We're under hibernation, see-"

"Out, or I will give you all detention!"

James and Sirius looked at each other, and Remus and Peter saw some hidden meaning in the look.

As McGonagal made to get them out, they both scrambled out of her grasp, and then they were racing down the room, out, and then proceeded up the stairs as quickly as they could.

"Mr. Lupin, Mr. Pettigrew, what on earth were you doing?"

Peter stayed silently and looked guilty.

"Sirius, James and Peter wanted to talk to me under there, Professor," Remus lied quickly. "About Charms."

"Why under the table, though?"

So as not to be overheard, of course. But Remus only gave a slight shrug. "I'm not sure. Probably James' idea of a good hideout or something."

McGonagal turned to Peter. "Was that the reason?"

"I-I'm not too sure either," Peter lied, not quite as skillfully. "It probably was."

The Professor sighed. "Hiding under tables...not acceptable. You may go, then. And make sure to be on time for Transfiguration this time, Mr. Pettigrew, or I will have to give you detention!"

As soon as she was out of sight, Peter and Remus made for the door to find their friends. But after checking most of their common hangouts, it was obvious that they were hiding themselves well. Remus even tried the library.

Once they'd both met outside the toilets, Remus suggested they looked one last place. "They might be out on the grounds. At Hagrid's, or down by the lake or something."

They didn't have to look far. No sooner had they stepped out into the fresh air, then inside the castle, there was chaos. In the great hall, a flood of water had broken loose, that had cascaded on everything and everyone there. To top it off, the Slytherins were covered in a red colored dye that looked like it would take hours to remove.

And, at the head of the staff table, stood James and Sirius, looking immensely guilty.


	2. Moonlight Escapade

Saturdays. This was one of Sirius Black's favorite words, and for good reason. What better day is there for making a bit of trouble? Or simply hanging around doing nothing, which tended to happen instead.

"The time has come!"

Sirius shot out of bed and fell off the side. Landing on his face with a thump, he twisted to face the ceiling, blinking madly.

"The time has come!" James Potter repeated, moving his face closer to Sirius'. "Remember our deal, Padfoot?"

"Gehoff," Sirius moaned, pushing James away. "So tired..."

"That's what you get for staying up until 2 for no reason." A smirk played around his lips.

"I had lots of reasons. Get off so I can get up."

James moved over to his trunk. Opening the lid, he called over his shoulder. "It might take me a while to find it."

"What?"

"The book, mate. The book." He raised an eyebrow and cocked his head. "Don't tell me you've seriously forgotten."

"Oh, right." Sirius shifted around slightly. "I can't get up."

James ignored him. He sifted through the trunk quickly, and surfaced holding a very colorful, extremely messy, handmade book. He dusted it off gingerly as if it was his most treasured possession. In fact, it well might have been.

"Oi! Potter! Help!"

"Okay, okay, you big twit." James hoisted Sirius to his feet and thrust the book into his arms. "For that, you get to do it."

"I swear Remus is going to die of shock when he sees this." Sirius frowned.

"I know, right?! James Potter and Sirius Black just wrote a book. Blegh! I'm dead!" James laughed and pushed his way to the door. "Come on. He's already gone to breakfast."

The great hall wasn't normally so full so early in the morning, but it was looking like few people had been able to sleep at all.

James slid across the Gryffindor table's bench down towards the figure sitting solitary from the rest of the chattering Gryffindors, and positioned himself at the boy's side.

"Oooooh, Remus!" With a huge grin, Sirius reached out to touch him on the shoulder. "Behind you!"

Remus whipped his head around, and Sirius leapt back in disgust, almost slipping off the bench. "Woah, watch it! I don't want your hair in my mouth!"

"Then don't sit so close to me," Remus suggested. "What is it?"

Sirius glanced over at James, who nodded eagerly. With a flourish, he slammed the book in front of Remus as dramatically as possible, and then yelled: "Ta daaaa! Look what we made!"

The expressions flew across Remus' face like lightning. "What the-"

"I know, right?!"

"'101 Faces and Expressions of Remus John Lupin'?" His lips moved in disbelief. "You wrote a book about my facial expressions."

"And drew them, too!" Sirius flipped the book open and flipped through, page by page. "Shock. Worry. Happiness. And this one - Feeling Sexy."

Remus stared with an almost skeptical expression, complete with extremely wide eyes. His gaze turned to Sirius.

"Wait! Freeze it there! James, draw this one! And label it something like 'Cross between worried, creeped out, and surprised.'"

James opened the book to a blank page and began to scribble furiously, looking up at controlled intervals to study Remus' face with enthusiasm.

As he did so, Sirius grabbed a piece of toast and sat back. "Ah, this is going to be the best day ever. An entire day to spend doing nothing, drawing you, and, most especially, doing nothing. What are you going to do Remus?"

"Study for Transfiguration."

"Why did I even ask. Nice expression. Relaxed, yet skeptical. One of my favorites."

Remus' eyes flicked over to meet his. "Exactly how long did it take you to make all that?"

"The entire time we've known you. We've had to study every expression and make sure they're all accurate-"

"Why on earth did you record my expressions?"

Sirius smirked. "That should be obvious! So we know when to run after we've made you mad. We made a whole chapter on each level of your anger, so we know when we've gone too far. At one there's annoyed, and then, reproaching, then mad, then anger, then-"

"Forget I asked." His tone was flat and icy.

There was a sudden flash of light, and Remus turned to face Peter. "Peter? What's with the camera?"

"Oh, Mum wants pictures of all my friends."

Sirius struck a pose. "Take this one...and this one...and this one, and this one...and..."

Peter's camera flashed at each command. "I'm out of film."

"Crud, I had a great pose up next..."

Remus frowned and looked at him. "I've meant to ask you something, Sirius."

Sirius jumped and eyed him cautiously. "If it's something about my recent girlfriends you're going to be disappointed."

"No, it's about the box I found under James' bed last night. I couldn't help but notice that you seem to have filled it with blueprints. _Suspicious_ blueprints."

"I don't see why you're so curious."

"If, as I don't doubt, that box contains plans for future pranks, I'm very interested, because I don't want you to use them."

Sirius' eyes narrowed. Then he grinned. "Too late, Moony. I'm afraid we already used them." He gestured to the ceiling. "You may want to get out of here pretty quick."

Remus didn't need to be told twice. "I'll be up at the library." He muttered to himself as he left the Hall.

Sirius glanced at James. "All set?"

James held up a finger as he finished his sketch. "Surely the idiot could have stayed put while I finished!" He shut the book curtly, and nodded to his friend. "All set."

...

Remus tried to concentrate on his book, but somehow his thoughts were refusing to focus. Even from here he could hear the yells resulting from whatever prank Sirius and James had just pulled.

Judging by the noise level, they would be in detention for the next week. James must have forgot about Quidditch practice, or he wouldn't have taken part. By tomorrow he would be in a sour mood that would last until the next practice he got to attend.

He shut his book and stood up. No point in quiet study when the only thing he could think about was what was going on nearby...

When he reached the Great Hall, the Slytherin table was covered in a mass of tangled vines that had managed to trap many people inside it. It also appeared to have been raining extremely heavily - the floor was covered in immense puddles.

Sirius and James stood calmly while they took their expected lecture from Professor McGonagal, there being no question as to the source of the prank.

Afterwards Sirius and James walked to meet Remus. "She decided to raise her expectations for our behavior, so we get two weeks instead of one. No loss, though. We got Snivellus in those vines."

"If you put as much focus into your schoolwork as these pranks, I swear to god you would be the two brightest students here."

"We prefer to be bright in other ways, Moony. Ways that are much more amusing. Now if you don't mind, detention starts in twenty minutes."

...

"Pass me those gloves."

"Get them yourself."

"If you don't pass me those gloves, I will hex you."

"If you hex me, you will earn yourself an extra detention."

"Fine."

"James?"

"Yes, Sirius?"

"You are aware you're going to miss Quidditch tomorrow."

"...Damn those Professors."

"Harsh, aren't they?"

Silence.

"How long do we have to clean these things, James?"

"Minnie said until ten or so. What time is it?"

"Seven."

"Great..."

"Rather these than chamber pots."

"Yeah, I guess you're right.

Ten arrived, and they were released. James sped down the hall so fast that Sirius lost him, but he didn't speed to catch up.

Peter appeared. "Hey, you forgot it was a full moon tonight! Remus had to go to the Shrieking Shack without you!"

Oops. Sirius had forgotten it was a full moon. Oh dear. James would be livid in the morning when he remembered - Wait, what was he saying? Of course they'd go to join their werewolf friend at once. "Okay, find James and we'll go outside."

At the thought of a new adventure, Sirius' spirits rose. He hurried along through the halls. Peter arrived with James. The look on James' face was humorous. "Quidditch down the drain, and almost the full moon too! Why on earth did I let you talk me into that stupid prank?!"

Peter said nothing.

They reached the Whomping Willow and transformed. Peter hurried to press the knot on the trunk. The tree froze, and they hurried into the tunnel.

Remus had already transformed, and was in the middle of breaking a leg or two. Sirius crossed to his side and sat down. The werewolf relaxed slightly at his presence, but still broke his leg.

They watched him for a few hours, lazily, until Sirius could hardly stand the boredom. This wasn't much of an adventure. He then had a sudden idea. He cast a meaningful look at his companions, and the three left the shack and walked to a place where they could talk safely.

James was the first to transform back. "What?"

Sirius sighed. "I'm bored."

James caught a hidden meaning behind his words, but Peter merely looked at Sirius almost reproachfully.

"Ah," James said in understanding. "You want to spice things up a little. What's your idea?"

"I figured we could take Remus out into the grounds. I mean, nobody will be around, so he can't hurt anybody, and we can go explore instead of sitting up in that shack all night."

Peter opened his mouth to add his thoughts, but he might as well have spoken to the air. The other two had already transformed, and waited at the Willow for Peter to quiet it.

They led the werewolf slowly out of the tunnel, whom hardly seemed to notice its broken leg, and then Sirius looked around to decide where they should go. He gestured towards the lake.

It was one of the darkest nights they had seen yet. Sirius could only just make out the outline of the lake.

They walked slowly towards it.

They hit something. James found himself hurled forward and then he hit a hard surface. Sirius and Peter piled on top of him. The werewolf climbed up onto the top of the pile and settled on Sirius' head.

"...Hurts..." Sirius' muffled voice moaned. He had transformed back for some reason, but quickly retained his dog's form as the werewolf turned its luminous eyes on him hungrily.

James moved his head to see what they had fallen on to. In the dark he couldn't see, combined with the weight of all three of his friends on top of him. He did know one thing, though.

It was moving slowly downhill.

He struggled, trying to move, but that was impossible unless his friends each hopped off the moving thing one by one.

It was speeding up, and a clanking noise reached his ears. Sirius was barking.

They were heading straight for the lake.

The werewolf turned to stare at the lake, which was rapidly growing closer. As if it was not worth his attention, he looked down at the pile of animals underneath him, and growled slightly.

They were ten feet from the lake. Five. One. They hit a huge rock and flew over the lake for a second. And, then, they landed in it.

Oh, Remus would have their skins for this.


End file.
